the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
