Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
