respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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