We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize