It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize