i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
