Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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