Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
