didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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