I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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