I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
