And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize