remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Randomize
