No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
