VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
