this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
