i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
