operation harelip BJ is a go
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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