Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
