words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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