Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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