some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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