I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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