She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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