I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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