I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
