If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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