i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
