P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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