I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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