A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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