i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
