Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
