Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
