so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
