You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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