dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
