the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
