Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
