I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
