I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize