Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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