fuck your aforementioned shoe
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize