this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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