I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Randomize
