Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
