I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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