Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
