Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize