The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
