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oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
