You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
