Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
