thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
pray to the hookup gods
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
