All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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