I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
