Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We left the knife in your bed.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize