I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
