Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
How external is "for external use only"?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
