your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
