I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
