I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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